I previously introduced what I call the “Matt Taibbi effect”, in very short it’s the realization we sometime need to do things that may looks odd from a rational point of view but are at minimum useful, if not vital, for our happiness and well being.
In this post I want to make a clear example, a technique that comes deeply from my own personal life and experience, and that has become a proposal routinely offered to my customers.
Just a personal digression: First time I realized something similar to “happiness courses” were necessary was on 2021, during one of my training as a coach and hypnotizer, I was making practice with a dear friend when she out of the blue told me: “What do you when you want to have fun?”.
Silence at my side.
She insisted: “I mean what you do when you just want to relax, have fun, distract yourself? Something just for yourself, no other target than that?”, (silence), “When is the last time you planned something just for your fun or pleasure?” (silence).
I bluntly discovered I had not an answer, In fact the habit of doing things with a “general convenience” or a “secondary target” instead than just for myself alone, even in my free time, was such an ingrained habit that I had been not doing anything “just for me”, for years if not decades, for instance my holidays were normally planned for either please someone else (sons, wife, previously girlfriend) or for learning something new on the way (i.e. improving spoken language skills, diving, etc).
Then the "coup de grace", she asked: “Let’s suppose that next week end you are free from common boundaries, no work to do, no kids to keep: What would you like to do to just please yourself, to just have fun next week end?”.
With quite long time I finally sorted out something, by the way something with a not completely convincing aftertaste.
In that moment I realized that one can be so distracted from daily life, so busy “improving” or "optimizing" his life and that of others that forgets to indulge even in a healthy breath of oxygen from time to time, which is simply an essential, indispensable life necessity.
The work that I subsequently did on myself was a forerunner to the techniques that I now propose to my clients, here are the basic key elements:
1) Be very careful in Identifying all the things that are affordable and makes you happy, it can be anything: from going to the cinema or amusement park to a simple walk in the open countryside.
2) Schedule your time for yourself as if it was your most essential objectives and target, learn to consider that time as holy and essential, because indeed it is.
3) (if you do meditation) Learn to use some of your meditation time just for the fun of it
4) Learn to give yourself some extra fun time when you reach your work or personal objectives
(The following specific for coaches that uses hypnosis sessions)
5) Use hypnosis sessions and techniques (i.e. anchors) just to improve the mood and general well-being of your customers.
Finally: Introduce the following concept with yourself and your customers:
6) Since happiness is an internal emotion and state of mind, to reach more happiness is a skill and ability that can be learnt and improved, it’s particularly important to “personalize” such ability, namely, to find your own way to get it.
7) To learn the skill/ability to be happy should not be perceived as something you “indulge with”, something that is necessary only because you are a poor human guy, on the contrary: a happy person is an amazing lively and powerful person, learning to be yourself happy is the only fundamental strength that can empower you with all your personal and work objectives.
You cannot reach ANY objective if you are constantly unhappy!
Important: As for any sceptical reader: remember the Matt Taibbi effect: even if it looks weird, just do it, apply the above points, even if you do not believe in them, they work, they indeed work!
Did this post resound in you? As usual any feedback will be highly appreciated.
