As I write these lines I have various signs and news that something in Miriam and in the ecosystem that allowed her to thrive is starting to creak ominously; I hope it isn’t for her the “Beginning of the end”, but certainly there are several events that signal undesirable … and irreversible changes!
At the root of it all there is age advancing inexorably: that gorgeous little girl who looked like Disney’s Snow White today looks more and more like the evil witch from the same cartoon, only much shorter and in poorer health.
This triggers a cascade of other consequences.
First of all, as her charm and her seductive abilities fade, all the people and environments that protected her, or at least had a soft spot for her, start to change attitude. Then the very passage of time that undermines her looks begins to hit inexorably all her ex partners and protectors of various kinds.
Local institutions responsible for public order are less and less controllable, whether due to reduced attractiveness, the increased risk in rushing to help, staff expansion with young personnel, or simply the lower risk appetite typical of a no-longer-young age among the “older” staff (who, I recall, in at least two cases had “stories” with Miriam).
Even relations with the dominant Albanian mafia and, more generally, with organized crime are beginning to show cracks, with at least one of its leaders describing her as ugly and undesirable, and seeing no reason why she should be allowed to compete in a lucrative territory honestly won with threats and payoffs.
Even in physical performance something seems to have changed forever: a recent fall from the bicycle had no serious consequences but sent a clear alarm signal.
Then there are those uncontrollable sexual impulses (I believe also linked to the use of crack and cocaine), which can no longer be vented with the historic ex partners, now in jail and/or far away and/or with serious health problems and/or reduced to heaps of jelly. The resulting passion for toy boys is increasingly pathetic and mocked, even more so if with some of these she starts shooting homemade porn clips that then get redistributed without her knowledge who-knows-to-who-and-who-knows-where.
Finally, “people”, and I’m not speaking only of the “Dark World” crowd, have known her for years now, and the lies (or “necessary Illusions”1) needed for the “good unlucky girl” narrative become less and less defensible and even less credible. As if that weren’t enough, her memory is starting to waver2 and risks “mixing” the “narrative threads” reserved for the different social circles3.
For Miriam: If you read this part and things are still under control PLEASE DO SOMETHING! Get out of that environment, cut ties with everything/everyone. I don’t know what will happen but I don’t see a single reason why things should keep going well for you, NOT EVEN ONE!
1 Copyright Noam Chomsky
2 An Example: For about a year Miriam has gotten herself a second phone number, and for a full 4 times over a few months she asked me whether she had told it to me or not!
3 In this regard poor Miriam reminds me of a character from “War and Peace”, Prince Vasily Kuragin, who is an expert and cynical diplomat and courtier, who as the years pass and age advances begins to lose track of his own stories and his own intrigues: He often ends up getting confused, contradicting himself, or adapting the version of the same story depending on who is in front of him and what suits him at the moment … GETTING IT WRONG with socially disastrous effects!