To fight the mutant monster I had to focus on its essence...on its very reason for being...and...guess what?..I came to the conclusion that it is mainly a problem of social relations, and perhaps of education/knowledge!
“Addicts” hang out ONLY with other “addicts”..if you have been a drug addict for a certain period..even just 1-2 years, you do not “just” find yourself with your addiction problem..you find yourself immersed in a dense spiderweb of social, friendly and romantic relationships from which escaping is a titanic feat! Because if you think about it, dear Stefano, it is precisely the network of human relationships we have that DEFINES us..that shapes/molds our very IDENTITY!
More: Living within a community where EVERYONE uses drugs makes it literally unthinkable to do without them, the outside world, the one made of “normal” people appears to you like a film, like something distant, something from another planet, a “parallel universe”, which even if it coexists “spatially” with yours, is as if it were light-years away..it is unreachable!
{Here, NOW I would really like to hear your opinion, but it is not possible, so I keep telling you other things..actually I hope you find a way to send me some other message, BUT this time PLEASE...send it to me WITHOUT TERRORIZING ANYONE, especially Cinzia!, otherwise keep staying quiet....OK?..do we understand each other? ...I dunno...appear to me in a dream!...}
I have become convinced that to bring down the monster, the victims have only one option: a complete restructuring of their social relationships, which is equivalent to redefining their identity!
It is necessary to change environment, spend time with other people, “healthy” people, detached from every drug, one must redesign one's friendships, the activities we do with our friends/acquaintances, and by reflection our very life goals,
Then it is necessary to be busy with things, perhaps trivial, but that make us feel useful to someone, that give a higher meaning to our life, something that allows us to endure the fatigue, the pain, the boredom of the usual routine.
It is a common factor to deny one's past, practically all the “ex” addicts I have known speak of it with difficulty, they admit their past addiction reluctantly and only to a restricted circle of people. I am of the opinion that this is wrong, and for two big reasons:
1) Communicating that we have had, and might have difficulties in reintegrating into society can activate positive dynamics in others, it is not true that the whole world is ugly, all I do is find people eager to help as they can..if we do not communicate to others that we are/might_be in difficulty we do not ask for help..and the “others” do not even imagine the effort we are making..
2) I do not believe there is anything to be ashamed of, on the contrary, we must be proud of having come out of the tunnel, we must be proud of ourselves, we must be able to say with joy “I made it, it was a terrible and painful war but I made it!”, whoever manages to bring down such a similar, fearsome adversary must be proud of it! Because our self-esteem, the trust we have in ourselves can be the only weapon when the monster returns to provoke us, a healthy faith in ourselves can be the only thing that keeps us standing when we find ourselves alone and suffering, and we know that life can still place us in these conditions! That it is only a matter of time before it happens.
More...and here I really would VERY MUCH like to hear your opinion...
One thing must be said clearly to people who are about to come out of the tunnel: It is like in videogames, the monster can pretend to be dead to attempt one last attack, it can come back to visit us when we least expect it, and when this happens we are NECESSARILY ALONE! There are no more psychologists, social workers, relatives and super-friends helping us..the monster chooses to make itself known EXACTLY when we are alone…
People in therapy must be told that they have won ALMOST all the battles, but that they will win the war, and they must prepare to win it, ALONE...because it is precisely at that moment that the monster will reappear!
The good news is that if one manages to make people aware of THIS..the battle is already practically won...the monster will attempt the last ambush when we are ready to receive it...and infinitely stronger than before!
Now at last I leave you in peace to enjoy your well-deserved rest.
Bye Stefano, goodbye!
Your friend Marco