Marco Fornaro

I am an engineer, a hypnotist, a coach, an intellectual, but above all I am a person who has always lived very intensely


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My Father and (MY) University

2023-08-14 16:55

Marco Fornaro


My Father and (MY) University

When I enrolled in engineering University my father got mad,we fought angrily and didn't speak for months

When I enrolled in engineering school my father flew into a rage, he attacked me, we argued (more precisely, he fought) angrily in public, and he would not meet or even talk to me for 9 months

He was very angry because I had NOT followed his advice: He (who had followed an extremely demanding course of study, culminating in a degree in Physics), had advised me NOT to enroll at the University, in any faculty, least of all in courses of demanding study

Instead, he had proposed that I take a sabbatical period and travel around the world, and despite the financial hardships he was also willing to finance me to "find my way in the world… the REAL one"

This is because my Father was a very unfortunate person but not in the "classic" sense of the term

He had been stolen from his mother at an early age, in fact her husband, her father and my grandfather, was a very influential lawyer who had decided to "separate" from his wife, even if at the time it was not legally possible...

So my grandfather went to court and convinced everyone that my grandmother, known to be a very sweet and sensitive person, was actually a no-good, unfit to raise children….it was the 20 years in Italy, my grandfather was very powerful and known…and he won, his children, my father and my uncle were taken from their mother and entrusted to him, who, not having time to take care of them, sub-entrusted them to the two aunts, his sisters

The aunts were two terrible women, one was a principal, the other a didactic director, they had never married nor had they ever allowed themselves amorous adventures, they lived for their profession… POINT

My aunts dedicated themselves to the education of their nephews in their usual rigorous and severe way…my father was soon sent to a boarding school run by priests, judged to be the best in the Triveneto area, to follow classical studies of course…and he stayed there, returning home alone for religious holidays until maturity

My father reacted well to his studies, he was the best in his college, and in his high school diploma he came second on a mixed commission that included the three best high schools in our part of Italy….for example, he told me that, at the time, he was in able to read Ancient Greek by sight, without the need for dictionaries
Then he decided for university studies, and chose the faculty of physics in Padua, solid state address, due to the hasty marriage with my Mother, and my "premature" birth. He finished the course late, but always with the highest marks , with the usual passion, and with a certain talent for "cool" topics: he did his thesis on semiconductors just before their "explosion" on the world market….


…Then came the problems that he couldn't manage: The Frustrations of daily life due substantially to the social status of the teacher in our society, in his opinion absolutely inferior to the expectations that HE had made for his life.

It would perhaps take a bit too long to explain the reasons that led my father to behave this way, but in short: he was convinced that, especially in Italy, and even more so in the region where we lived, "social success" was completely independent from the educational qualification, and, even in the professions and social roles that necessarily provided for it (e.g. lawyer, notary, doctor, etc.), it was more a consequence of a social status already acquired by the family, than the cause of this, a sort of "stamp" that actually marked an already existing difference with the "popoli", something that would have existed anyway, regardless of the degree.

But that was not all: he insisted that the long and all-encompassing commitment typical of a course of study such as engineering (at least at the time) had sure, negative and above all permanent effects, such as draining an enormous amount of energy from "things that matter truly”, the creation of “alien and detached from reality mentalities”, the inability to have deep human relationships, and other terrifying things.

He said that by enrolling in engineering, and above all by following and completing the course of study, I would be "ruined beyond repair" and that there would be "no redemption", I would end up as he thought he ended up: a social outcast "De Facto ”, a person whom everyone compliments but whom nobody would choose as a business partner… or as a husband for their daughter….in short, a loser for life…at whom everyone secretly laughs.

But they weren't the only arguments my father reported, some were extremely "objective" such as:
“in the area where we live” (he was referring to Veneto) ”The area with the lowest schooling rate” (he was referring to Chioggia) “is at the same time the area that has always been marked as 'raising capital' by the Banks ”, in practice “Banks know that where the most wealth is generated, people have a medium-low education….or non-existent!”
(always referring to Chioggia): "even Goldoni talks about it in the 18th century: already at the time it was full of rough, vulgar, abusive characters, dressed in rags, repugnant ... and ... shamefully rich"
(always referring to Chioggia): "when during the Second World War people died of hunger around the region, here they made money with smuggling from/to Yugoslavia, they fed the black market of the entire northern Italy, while the 'others' died in the wars, they NO, they were fishermen, or naval workers, or gardeners, people who weren't worth sending to the front"
Or, more generally: "Hemingway didn't have any qualifications, simply if he went around the world combining all of them... and he wrote books about them"

In short: "money is not made with materials with high-sounding names ... they are made with LE ROBE MONA!" (“STUPID” THINGS)

It took me many years to admit that my father was right about many, but many things, and his teachings have been very useful to me: I have never regretted my choice to enroll in University, if I could go back in time I would do it again without a doubt, indeed I would be even more motivated, but I consider it for what it really was: a wonderful personal study experience that enriched me as a person, certainly not an economic-social driving force.

Professional World Changer @ I do not mind about Rights, but will prosecute Liars 

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